flight of the air hog

it's 11pm and my roommate decides it's time to fly the air hog. Despite sounds like a subtle term for masturbation, it's actually a remote control airplane of sorts that he received for xmas. after charging her up, we took her to the church parking lot for the inaugural flight of the air hog.

it was, less than majestic we'll say. it's flight patterns seemed to resemble an object caught in a tornado, and i was beginning to wonder if "air hog" was some sick reference to what it might actually look like "when pigs fly".

after about 5 minutes we had to recharge the bacon plane, at which point my other roommate took the opportunity to religiously relieved himself in the darkened corner of the church parking lot (i like these kinds of people), we were at it again. this time it lasted 2 minutes and managed to fly directly into my head about three times.

blow pop assault

The other day i found by far the best court house record in the police log of the local paper. My brother and I generally pour through them every week looking for someone we might have gone to school with. "hey remember that kid billy who told your class in 5th grade that he was going to kill everyone? he's going up for murder 1 on that recent double homicide!" or "michelle! the girl who slept with everyone! she just got busted in that major prostitution ring!" It's nice to see people following through with their childhood aspirations.

anyway, the police log read: "Jaqueline B., 30, charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon (blowpop lollipop).

....wtf?

amazing. remember those blowpops, with the gum in the center? who would have thought? I've spent the past 3 days speculating what way she could have used the blowpop to injure someone. did she use more than one and throw them at her child? did she attempt to stab her estranged boyfriend in the neck with the stick? or better yet poke him in the eye? or did she get it all slobbery and stick it in some chick's hair, forcing her to shave a spot of her head bald to get it out and is now looking to collect damages?

what ever the situation, the charge was dismissed so i can only assume it was some overreacting asshole looking for a way to make bank on some woman's candy mistake.

another day, another idiot, another blog post!