Boat Shoes and Renal Failure

Fun Dad Time:

Called the house, and my Dad immediately asks me if I've ever had renal failure because there's a great kidney failure lawyer in NYC that I could go to. I tell him that while i've never suffered from renal failure, it is common in cats. To which he responds, "Like anal sacks! Dogs are to anal sacks, as Cats are to renal failure." He then proceeded to try to sell me his old pair of Sperry Topsiders, slightly used, said that if I put them up to my ear I can hear the ocean. He called it "Mike's Sperry seashell shack." I'm so glad were share the same genes.

bitches britches and belly bands

here are some fun things i find when i'm home all day:


BITCHES BRITCHES:
"a menstrual garment for dogs of all sizes, this comfortable hygienic garment serves also as a great protector against
unplanned matings."

amazon.com/Extra-Large-Bitches-Britches-Black/dp/B0006N9DMW


BELLY BANDS:
"I recieved my first two belly bands...What a wonderful product...well made, Barkley is COMFORTABLE with it, and i wish i'd
had it long ago...the band definitely passes the 'wash and dry' test."

bellybands.net



currently, i'm listening to my roommates talk about "boob touch".

Popcorn and Opera

it's been foreverrrrrrrrrr........sorry. here goes. my exciting blog:

last night, while up in my room,i could here my dad downstairs singing opera. is this so odd....not particularly...for him anyway. is he an opera singer? well, no, but, it's my dad. i come down stairs to investigate and there, in the kitchen is my dad, screaming/singing opera, the dog...and throwing popcorn at her. the dog, either attributed to her lack of sense or the captivating singing of my father, has barely noticed the popcorn surrounding her, or even stuck to the top of her head back and dangling from her ears. that's what i get for owning a cocker spaniel- loyal to the end with a pea sized brain.

my dad sees me and we both sort of freeze,
"dad? are you...singing, and throwing popcorn at the dog?"

he kind of turns red...
"omfg...you're standing in the kitchen throwing popcorn at the dog..and singing"

then we both nearly piss ourselves laughing for about ten minutes.

at least living at home is entertaining?

dog stacking: a sport for morons

when did it become socially acceptable for people to sit outside starbucks with chihuahuas in baby clothes stacked three high on their lap, like they're books you're returning to the library? and better yet, tote them away in a whole foods shopping bag.


...If there's a pet store in Back Bay missing three chihuahuas, i think i know where to find them.