the R train 1

i figure i'm going to have a million posts about both the subway an the R train since that's what i'm on. yesterday was a GREAT ride on the R.

rush hour, 8:30 am, the train is PACKED, and ofcourse, there is a homeless dude with about 40 fucking million plastic bags taking up a third of the car. i can't say that the homelessness or the smell were at all shocking, however, his smell far exceeded the offensiveness of any other homeless man i'd ever had the displeasure of smelling. he literally smelled, like a horses ass. like, seriously, it smelled like the motherfucker had slept in a pile of horse shit left by the carriages around central park.

and as if smelling like horse shit wasn't intrusive enough to those of us on the train, he started asking for food. but not just ANY food. he specifically requested a CHEESE sandwich.

"oh here smelly homeless man! i in fact always carry a bag fully stocked with cheese sandwiches! this one i made specially for you!"

not that i don't think he wouldn't have accepted anything anyone gave him to eat, it's just that he seemed to only posses the verbal skills or the mental capacity to request "a cheese sandwich".

needless to say, no one had a cheese sandwich for captain horse shit.