subway wisdom

I boarded the N train last sunday afternoon with a blinding headache and an epic hangover. i was hoping to have a quiet ride, but this is never the case. After a few brief moments of solitude, a person (for lack of a better term) sat down next to me with their friend. He, or She, unclear, began engaging in conversation with the hispanic girl across from us about the young kids in our car playing music. "oh HONEY, those Nenes, they gonna be famoso, they gonna be on American Idol, yo se, i KNOW it. they so good." they said in Spanglish to the terrified looking female sitting across the way who was the target of his impromptu diatribe.

let me pause here and describe what this person was wearing. Though they clearly appeared to be a man, and made no effort to conceal or disguise their deep voice (this was the confusing part), they were wearing skin tight acid washed jeans, new balance sneakers, a leather jacket, a wig, hoop earrings big enough to jump your acrobatic, trick poodles through.

the conversation progressed and some how came to involve myself. He told me that he liked my nail polish but, in fact, liked his own a lot more. he liked his because it had the "bits that make my fingers look like pearls. You know, also, in the summer, i got out too brooklyn, and they do my nails up all nice you know? the do this thing where they make my finger nails like, spirals or some shit. yeah, they're like 4 inches long and they're spirals and they drill out holes in the middle and put little jewels in them. you know, little jewels and stuff? it costs me like, a thousand bucks but honey i tell you it's worth it. It is. It's worth it. I also go to these people to get my eyebrows waxed off, see, because my eyebrows our tattooed on"

He then points to various parts of his tattooed face telling me how much each cost, "this eyebrow was $100, the other was also $100, the eyeliner on my right eye was $50 and the eyeliner on my other eye was also $50."

and then, my favorite part of the conversation, "yeah you know i go and get my eyebrows waxed and then i have them do my whole face too and then you know i go and get my whole body done, you know, they have like 3, sometimes 4 really nice asian women and they all get in there, working at the same time to wax my body. They do a great job, they do."

as disturbed as i was by this mental image, i have to say, he was overall a lovely individual and I did enjoy his company.